My Husband Speaks on Modesty

Answering Tola’s Questions

A few weeks ago we received a couple questions which were directed at me. Well I have been a lagger in replying. So finally here we go.

The First question is, “What does modest mean to me? What is ok and what is not?”

Bare with me I may or may not get long winded here.

Modesty to me is defiantly not talking about how “modest” you are. Modesty is between the person and Jesus. Now I’m not saying that a lady wearing a mini skirt with her cleavage hanging out is going to be able to tell me that Jesus told her it was ok for her to dress that way. Because I know that it’s not ok with Him. What I’m saying is that a woman who is actively seeking the Lord’s approval will receive instruction from Him. If you ask Him directly, He always gives an answer. His Word is the easiest and most accurate place to get an answer. The hard part for most of us is actually making the changes we need to make in order to be obedient to God’s Word.
 (Jacie before she was convicted of her dress)

Question two is, “Do lustful thoughts really occur? How are Christian men okay with the current standard of modesty or lack there of?”

YES! Lustful thoughts do occur. This may get a bit  hard to follow but I’ll do my best to be clear.

I have no problem hearing demons. I am thankful that I know the difference between myself and a demon now. Years ago I honestly couldn’t tell you what thoughts were mine and what thoughts were projected toward me by a demon. I was pretty much in alignment with them because I rejected Christ and was fully submerged in the world. I now absolutely hate the world. Because it constantly tries to take me away from Jesus.

So, the first thing I do when I see a lady in tight pants, I look up. If I then see clevage or a form fitted top I look away. It’s ridiculous the amount of times a day I have to look up and away. It seems like every woman, married or not wants a man to check them out. I asked Jesus about this. The answer I got was this,”They don’t know me Jake, therefore they don’t know love. They are desperately looking for love and think that that is the way to find it. Satan beats that lady up in the mirror every morning. Telling her,”You’re fat, you’re ugly, show more of this, show more of that, nobody loves you, toughen up.”  So now as I look up and look away I also say one simple prayer for her,”Lord please save her.” Then I proceed to tell Him how much I hate this place and want Him to come back.

Oh, back to the hearing demons part. Sometimes it’s worse around certain woman. Some women I can hear awful nasty things in the air. I know those thoughts aren’t mine and I surely know the Lord’s not speaking that way about them. It’s the demon walking with that lady and if she’s not telling it to go away, she’s listening to it. In that case I say two prayers,”I bind and cast out any and all demons attacking this lady in the name of Jesus, Lord please save her.”

The thing is, the demons want us to listen to them and act upon their dirty projections. That’s why we are to take all of our thoughts captive. To control ourselves and our imaginations. Sadly most of us at one time or another have been puppets.
It’s easy for them to manipulate us. They beat the lady up to dress horribly, then tell the guys on the street to stare at her and think about dirty things. If a man doesn’t take his thoughts captive and gives into those projections he then takes them and runs with them and makes them worse by acting on them.

³ We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. ⁴ We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. ⁵ We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 NLT

The Bible says that the standard (The World’s standard) is going to be like this. Can I change it? No. The only One who can change anything for anyone, is God. God is the only One who can convince a woman to cover herself up. God is the only One who can convince a man to stop thinking like an animal in the rut. If a person isn’t getting their direction from God the only thing I can do is pray for that person and try to point it out if the situation is presented by the Lord to do so.

As far as are Christian men ok with the current standard of modesty. There are a few very important things to remember about Christian men. One, we are all sinners and will be sinners until the day we receive our new bodies (See Romans 8:23-24). The difference is which ones are resisting temptation and which ones are not. Two, there are many different levels of maturity in Christian men. Some men are getting thrashed daily by Satan. Everywhere they look a demon places a half naked women, either on TV, a magazine stand or in the grocery store check out right in front of them all day long. Some men give into that temptation and act on it. Some men get angry and sin the other way by degrading the lady and calling her a nasty sinner. Where ever the weakness in us is, a demon will find it if it’s there. All men must be activly in prayer and seeking Jesus. HELP, HELP, HELP LORD HELP! I’ve screamed those words in my head for days, hours and weeks.

The thing that a Christian lady needs to remember is that we aren’t supposed to make each other stumble. When a man comes to church for the first time, he doesn’t need to be greeted by a plumber’s crack on the chest of the pastors wife. Here’s what a demon will do, he’ll tell the guy to look at her chest then guilt him for doing so. A person who comes to church seeking help is very vulnerable and trying to escape darkness, they shouldn’t walk straight into a trap at church of all places. If it can be avoided with simply wearing an appropriate top. The last thing we need to be doing is making it easier for demons to beat each other up.

Question Three, “What are my likes and dislikes in women clothing. What does my wife and daughter wear.”

Cleavage is 100% horrific to me. Tight low cut jeans and pants are disgusting to me. Because I know that when I see a woman wearing those, she is getting beat up by Satan and doesn’t know Jesus’ love.

A pretty face is enough to cause a man to lust. That being said do I think a woman should wear a burka? No. Do I think my wife should wear one? Yes. No, no, I’m just kidding. A man should have his own relationship with the Lord and be asking for help with whatever his weaknesses are. It’s when we don’t ask the Lord for help and try to do it on our own that Satan succeeds in punching us a few times.

My wife can wear whatever she wants to wear, that’s between her and Jesus. My daughter on the other hand is a different story. We buy her clothes that cover her up. I see little girls dressed in short skirts and short shorts all the time. It’s sad.

And finally, “Do I feel convicted for Jacie to wear skirts? Do I prefer her to wear skirts or pants? Or am I ok with either as long as they are modest.”

No I don’t feel convicted for her to wear skirts or pants. Honestly, Jesus has brought Jacie to were she is. I was saved first and Jacie wore inappropriate stuff for a while. Slowly Jesus convinced her to change. Satan got in there and tried to twist it up on her a few times, but the Lord always got her back on track. I don’t control anything. When I try to, I make it worse. I’ve learned to pray and wait. It’s not easy, but I can only control me and that’s hard enough. I mess up me everyday.

In summary a Modest woman to me is a godly woman. A woman who does her best to follow Jesus through God’s Word. She is a woman who takes others into consideration while dressing or buying clothes. A woman who does her best to control her tongue and appearance.

Hope that answers your questions Tola, May God pour out His blessing over you and yours in Jesus’ name.

Your Brother,
Jake

Our fun photo shoot from today

Here is great page that goes further into taking our thoughts captive. http://www.mindsync.com/lam/Session8.htm